The Little Voice In Your Head..

The voice that tells you you can't. Says it's too cold. Too windy. You're too tired. Your legs are too sore. That little voice in your head..

...is a jackass.

And what treatment is best for jackasses? Ignore them.

It seems like every time I've tried training lately, the little voice plants itself firmly in my head. You're too tired. You're too busy. You're getting sick. You aren't seeing results, so why try? Whatever the reason is, something comes along, my intensity wanes, and then I stop. Not this time.

My training plan can be found here: 16 Week Half Marathon

It's a 16 week plan for beginners. It assumes only that you can comfortably run a mile. I've just started week 3, and I'm feeling good. I think eating gluten and (mostly) grain free is extremely helpful. I've stayed strong and motivated on strength training, been sure to stretch whenever I can, and I haven't missed a single day! This despite stress, no daylight by the time I get home from work, and temperatures WAY below freezing on several days.

Last week, I ran despite a high of 10 and a wind chill of -5. Today, I ran in a high of 50, with standing puddles on most sidewalks still containing yesterday's snow. Yesterday, I did a 5x5 of deadlifts at 115, plus ab work despite a cough, headache and congestion. Best of all, last week, I did deadlifts, kettlebell swings and more, despite my husband coming into our gym (basement), pushing me out of my comfort zone and taking me past the point where I got annoyed. "Try this move! Try this weight!"

I love him, but when pushed like that, completely out of my comfort zone, my natural response is to shut down. To get angry. To quit.  He showed me a move I couldn't quite do, after making me lift heavy. Took from from a proud high to a frustrated, embarrassed low. When he left the room, I sat next to the barbell, elbows on knees, face in hands, feeling that same feeling. That little voice in my head, "You failed, give up, you lifted a little, it's OK, you can quit now."

I almost quit.

And then a new voice jumped in. "You're not doing this for him." And that little voice stuck.

I'm not doing this for my husband. I'm not doing this for my mother. I'm not doing this for weight loss. I'm not doing this for some vain need to look good in a bikini this summer (even if that is an added perk). I am not doing this for my  mother-in-law. I am not doing this for anyone at my almost over job. I am not doing this for my agonizing, ongoing job hunt.

I am doing this for me.

I am doing this to prove I can. I am doing this because I want to give up giving up. I am doing this because it is a challenge and I am strong. I do it to honor, strengthen and love the body God gave me. I am doing this for that amazing moment, that moment when I cross that finish line and I ran the whole thing, 13.1 miles.

That little voice in my head will help, or it will be ignored. But the good one, the positive one, is getting strong every day. I am doing this for me.

"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary..."  -Isaiah 40:31

Recipe: Paleo Quiche Crust

I love quiche. I mean really, eggs, meat, veggies, and cheese (for me), placed into an awesome crust and eaten like the world's greatest pie, breakfast, lunch or dinner? Awesome.   But, going wheat-free suddenly meant quiche was no longer easy (Ok, quiche was never easy, but now... infinitely more difficult). I found a recipe that used only almond flour and eggs, but it was way, way too dense.  I decided to experiment, and I'm pretty darn close. Try it out, and as always, I welcome feedback!

Ingredients

• 1/2 Cup almond flour
• 3/4 Cup coconut flour
• 1 egg
• 1 egg white
• 1 Tbsp coconut oil, melted, plus more for pan
• 1/4 Cup water

Preheat oven to 375.  Grease your quiche/pie pan well with coconut oil. Mix the almond flour and coconut flour until blended. Add in coconut oil, egg and egg white. Mix together. Add water and combine into dough. Most likely, you will need to press this together with your hands.   Put dough mixture into pan. Using (very) wet hands, press dough into pan until desired thickness. You should be able to get this fairly thin, covering the bottom and sides of the pan. Usually I run my hands under running water and then press a small section to the appropriate thinness.  Bake at 375 for 7-10 minutes.

-At this point, you add your quiche ingredients to your pan. I find everyone has their own recipe, but in general, I use 6 eggs, 4 slices of bacon, cooked and chopped, 1 Cup chopped broccoli, 1/2 shredded sharp white cheddar (I love Cabot! Naturally gluten and lactose free), and mix in water or coconut milk to make the eggs a bit more fluffy.  Bake for approximately 30 minutes, or until the center is set. 

Starting Over Again... Again...

OK, so I've been gone a really, really, reallllly long time. I know. Rather than get into the nitty-gritty of my life, we're just going to jump into our new direction.  I am still wheat-free. I love it. I don't even miss bread/pasta anymore, and I'm learning to make wheat-free goodness when I just need something bready/doughy/crusty.  I'm about 80% Paleo (the kind that allows dairy). I generally avoid grains, but occassionally still want gluten-free granola on my yogurt.   AND... I've registered for a half marathon. No turning back now. May 4, the Indianapolis 500 Festival Mini-Marathon. A friend also registered, and if either of us backs out, we owe the other person's registration fee.  I'm going to do my best to keep everyone posted, so stay tuned...

Wheat Free For Me...

Several months back, I told you that my husband is Paleo. I've tried multiple times to eat like him and failed miserably. I like bread. I didn't want to give up bread. I had intense cravings, didn't understand why I would deprive myself, and didn't really see a negative effect from eating non-Paleo. Plus, I figured eating multigrain, whole wheat, organic bread? Healthy, right?

I saw Dr. William Davis, the author of Wheat Belly, in the news. He kept popping up. In Women's Health, on Good Morning America, etc. And he was talking about well-researched dangers linked to wheat. Yup. Wheat.

Wheat, as Dr. Davis points out, is no longer wheat. It's not what our ancestors ate, heck, it's not even what our grandparents ate. It's been modified, cross-bred, spliced, into something very scary.

I'd advise you to check out the book, or his blog, and decide for yourself what is the answer for you. But for me, the book clicked. Wheat is behind our skyrocketing obesity rates. Dr. Davis has found links where wheat causes diabetes, heart diseases, acne, IBS, possibly even autism and some cancers.  Scary yes, but c'mon, that can't be right, wheat is heathy for you, right? And I don't notice any ill effects from it. He must just be talking about celiacs, right?

Nope.

Dr. Davis explained how the unique form of gluten and the specific carbohydrate found in current wheat posses the ability to 1. open your intestines to allow all form of manner into your bloodstream that shouldn't be there, and 2. actually permeate the cerebral linings and effect your brain. In fact, wheat is able to act almost like an opiate, giving you a high, causing you to seek more.

And, plain and simple, two slices of whole wheat bread increase your blood sugar more than two tablespoons of pure sugar!  It spikes your glycemic index, is more digestible than any other carbohydrate, so you crash much faster, and can interact with your body like an opiate.

Suddenly, my cravings made sense. Why I couldn't break free and was cranky when I tried to go Paleo. And it scared me. Yeah, I want to get rid of my wheat belly, the visceral fat around my middle that grows with every "healthy" whole wheat item I eat. But more importantly, I want to avoid the scary consequences. The things wheat does to our bodies.

So I decided to go wheat free. Not Paleo mind you, because strict Paleo-ists will not eat dairy either. I see nothing wrong with dairy, especially full-fat cheeses. Yes, full-fat. The government has declared a war on fat, pushed "healthy" whole grains, and yet obesity rates have grown and grown. Seriously, read the book.

I'm about 5 days in. I've definitely had some painful moments. I went cold turkey. Threw away everything in the house that had wheat in it. The first few days, I was hungry. My body was seeking that high again. I had headaches. Yup, actual withdrawal symptoms from the removal of wheat. By day 5?

By day 5, I'm a bit amazed. I'm already feeling more regular. Hunger is no longer a craving, even when I feel hungry, I'm not panicked. My skin looks clearer already. Really.

I'm still feeling a bit of the withdrawal. A bit sluggish and cloudy. Workouts are a bit difficult right now as my body adjusts. It's relearning what to burn. Food is actual fuel now, not a weird toxin.  But I'm sleeping faster and better. It's easier to wake up.

I know there will probably be a few more difficult days, but I'm doing this for my health. For my health while pregnant. For the health of future children.

I'm not a doctor by any means. I can't tell you what to do. But I do suggest you pick up the book, research, and decide for yourself. And if you do decide to quit, stay strong. It's not fun, but you won't regret it.

I'm Back!

I've been very, very MIA. I want to come back, but I make no promises that I will actually blog consistently. If I'm successful, this blog is headed in a new direction. The Army is less and less a part of our lives right now. I will always consider myself a military spouse, and no one can take those experiences away from me, but they simply are no longer on the forefront.

What is a priority right now? I am still job hunting, but seeing some hope. I am revisiting my goal of running a half marathon, hopefully the 500 Festival Mini Marathon in Indianapolis. I am attempting to go wheat-free.  So, you will see more blogging about just basic life. Hopefully I can come up with some good recipes, and not just bore you.

Final Wedding Post

I figure I have a few more wedding tips to share, so here goes..

Bridesmaid gifts: This was tough for me. If you've followed the blog closely, you know I lost my job a month before the wedding. Clearly, I couldn't do anything super amazing. My mom offered to pay for a mani/pedi party for myself and my bridesmaids (and her of course!) since I hadn't had a bridal shower or bachelorette party... I love my mom : )  When we moved the wedding, it worked in our favor since she has a little nail salon she attends regularly, and they were willing to close shop so we could have a private party and bring in snacks and wine.  While there, I presented the gifts...

Sorry the pictures are small, but I think you can get the idea...  I decided to give the girls something practical that they could reuse, so I thew together a wedding survival bag. 3 of my bridesmaids are in college still and the other travels a lot, so I figured a quality tote bag would get good use. I nervously ordered from JiffyShirt.com (Liberty Bag).. you couldn't beat the price, and the quality sounded pretty good. They arrived quickly, the quality was good, and I would definitely recommend them.  I found someone in town to stitch each girl's initials onto their bag.

I filled the bag with a number of "survival items"...  flip-flops, nail files, a VitaminWater, etc. Then I got each girl a small heart-shaped necklace, and in the cards, I told them they will always be on my heart!  They seemed well-received!

  

Vendors: I can't honestly remember if I mentioned my vendors yet or not, but if you are planning a wedding in Andover, Mass. the Andover Country Club was fantastic! They did such a great job helping me on 12 days notice, and I can only imagine what they could do with full planning time!  Tracey was great!

Now, if you're planning a wedding in Vermont (Vermont brides, listen up!), our vendors were all fantastic!

• Flowers: Just Weddings (https://www.facebook.com/justweddingsvt) Katharine and Marriam are AMAZING! Seriously can't rave enough! They worked with me to get the budget where I needed it, include my must haves, and help me with ideas. More amazingly, when Hurricane Irene forced the move, they moved with me!! These girls are great, and they know what they're doing!
• Photographer: Jay Ericson (Jay Ericson Photography) Jay was great. His work is incredible, and I felt completely comfortable having him around... you didn't even notice him! He did offer us a Veteran discount, but his regular prices are a touch below the other photographers are contacted. Be warned, he is extremely busy, so he can be a bit difficult to get in touch with, but he is worth it!
• Dress: A Trace of Lace Bridal (http://www.atraceoflacebridal.com/) If you are a Vermont bride (or heck, anywhere within driving distance), GO HERE. You will not regret it! The owner Jamie, is super nice, knows her stuff, and makes sure you are happy. The dresses are well priced, and the boutique is super cute! Just don't blink or you might drive right past it!  Jamie encouraged me to try on all types of dresses, even those I didn't think I'd like. Sure enough, I liked one I didn't think I would, which lead us to my dress, which I LOVED. They can also recommend seamstresses in the area, and will store your dress for you. 

Hair and makeup ended up being done by an independent friend of a friend, and the cake was baked by a friend of my mom's. In Vermont, I was set up to use Mountain Cuts for my hair, and I absolutely loved my consult with her. 

I was also meant to have the wedding at the Killington Grand, and again, while I never got the see the final product, the preparations were well-done and fun! We worked with Emily, and she is all about making sure your day is exactly how you want it. Even though we had to cancel, Emily still sent us an adorable wedding gift with Killington mugs and some local food mixes! 

Feel free to post any questions about any wedding DIY or vendors... I hope my few posts help you with your planning!

The Box...

My husband does Crossfit. He has for a while. I ran. Or pretended to run. And pretended to like it. And resisted his urging to try Crossfit.

I haven't abandoned the run. I've finally started logging some miles again, but real satisfaction? Real satisfaction comes when you push beyond your boundaries. For me, it seemed to come when I lifted more than I thought I could. When I pushed out the last rep. When I took my aching, angry muscles the next day and went from sore-in-a-good-way to an all out push.

I haven't decided to actually Crossfit. But with the purchase of a home gym for my husband's Crossfit needs, and the amount of weight at my fingertips, I've started incorporating some Crossfit moves into the basic moves I tend to rever to.  Today, I did a 21-15-9 of kettlebell swings (35 lbs.) and box jumps (step-ups).  Why step-ups? Because of the box.

The box.

It doesn't just sit, it looms. It casts it's own shadow. It seems too high, just a bit too far. I stared at that box, I wanted to jump, but when I stood next to it, it psyched me out. You can't do this Stacey. You can't jump this high. You can't top this. You can't attain.  I tried it. A weak jump, full of fear. Not enough height. I didn't even move forward. You can't do it. It's simply beyond you.

So I took the easy route. The route I knew might be easier, but I knew I could do it. It would challenge me a little. In cardio. Not in strength, in power, in explosion. 

I did my workout. I did a 10-8-6 of bench presses with my 20 lbs. dumbbells. I sat on the bench, and I stared at that box. 

The box. 

Too high.

Looming.

Too tall to jump.

A challenge. 

I walked to the box, squared up, squatted a bit and gave it all I had. 

And I landed. Flat feet. Drove through my heels and stood. Paused a moment, smiled and stepped down to do it again. I only did 5 jumps (c'mon, this is post-workout), but I did them. I jumped that high, I had the strength, I met the challenge. 

I could be extremely cheesy here, but you already know the metaphor I'm suggesting, so I'll keep it brief. You know the challenges I'm still facing in my life. The challenges you may be facing. The box is looming, yes. It's standing there, too tall, telling me I can't do it. That things are too high, too hard. And it's been topped.

Square up. Have confidence. Stare it down. And jump.