I haven't abandoned the run. I've finally started logging some miles again, but real satisfaction? Real satisfaction comes when you push beyond your boundaries. For me, it seemed to come when I lifted more than I thought I could. When I pushed out the last rep. When I took my aching, angry muscles the next day and went from sore-in-a-good-way to an all out push.
I haven't decided to actually Crossfit. But with the purchase of a home gym for my husband's Crossfit needs, and the amount of weight at my fingertips, I've started incorporating some Crossfit moves into the basic moves I tend to rever to. Today, I did a 21-15-9 of kettlebell swings (35 lbs.) and box jumps (step-ups). Why step-ups? Because of the box.
The box.
It doesn't just sit, it looms. It casts it's own shadow. It seems too high, just a bit too far. I stared at that box, I wanted to jump, but when I stood next to it, it psyched me out. You can't do this Stacey. You can't jump this high. You can't top this. You can't attain. I tried it. A weak jump, full of fear. Not enough height. I didn't even move forward. You can't do it. It's simply beyond you.
So I took the easy route. The route I knew might be easier, but I knew I could do it. It would challenge me a little. In cardio. Not in strength, in power, in explosion.
I did my workout. I did a 10-8-6 of bench presses with my 20 lbs. dumbbells. I sat on the bench, and I stared at that box.
The box.
Too high.
Looming.
Too tall to jump.
A challenge.
I walked to the box, squared up, squatted a bit and gave it all I had.
And I landed. Flat feet. Drove through my heels and stood. Paused a moment, smiled and stepped down to do it again. I only did 5 jumps (c'mon, this is post-workout), but I did them. I jumped that high, I had the strength, I met the challenge.
I could be extremely cheesy here, but you already know the metaphor I'm suggesting, so I'll keep it brief. You know the challenges I'm still facing in my life. The challenges you may be facing. The box is looming, yes. It's standing there, too tall, telling me I can't do it. That things are too high, too hard. And it's been topped.
Square up. Have confidence. Stare it down. And jump.
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