Running On My Own Two Feet...

I'm not sure if it's my age, my slow descent from 'newlywed' to 'boring old married lady with no kids', or my constant state of life upheaval, but I feel like I'm constantly, daily trying to find myself.

On the job front, this is easily explained. My career is a series of intentional and unintentional interruptions. I feel like I've spent my entire career fighting really hard to make lateral movements. A fun year doing what I want, a year starting my 'professional career', almost a year trying to find a job after moving to a city I knew I loved, a bit more than a year working a job I enjoyed, a layoff, a move out of the city and another period of almost a year trying to find a job. I feel a touch like a football player with fancy feet who jukes left, jukes right, it all looks pretty, and in the end, he gained... one yard. Or the line of scrimmage.

In terms of fitness, it's almost more complicated. Say what you want, the fitness world is full of influence, and trying to find yourself once you're in can be just as complicated and challenging as the initial decision to make the commitment, jump in and focus on health.

Consider my initial battle with paleo/gluten-free vs. whole grains. My husband had gone Paleo, and I fought for at least a year. I liked bread, and the prevailing message is all about "healthy whole grains"! It wasn't until I made the personal decision to try a gluten-free trial that I made any progress, and now that I know I'm not very tolerant of gluten, it's a lifestyle that is truly my choice. But, especially given my husband, the lines between the Paleo and gluten-free communities constantly blur. We eat primarily Paleo, but we both eat some forms of dairy, and I will occasionally have rice. It's what works for me. So, easy, self found, right?

Not so fast.

I was at the Vitamin Shoppe and somehow the cashier, another customer and I began discussing Paleo. First, she stared at me in shock because I let her know that actually, I do eat dairy. Then she went into a long discussion with herself about how she's trying so hard to give up eggs because she's heard bad things about what they do to people. I left shaking my head. Eggs? And in the name of what? Was she having personal problems with eggs, or was it just the message her personal Paleo community was preaching to her?  Influence on self.

Consider working out. I have now run two half marathons. I am extremely proud of that. And yet, by following the Paleo community, I've recently been exposed to numerous articles warning me of the dangers of endurance cardio. It's not healthy, you won't lose weight, heck, you might even harm yourself!! Posted alllll over social media. So...  exercising isn't enough, you have to do it in the right way, or risk the scorn and judgement of strangers? Eyeroll.

Even within running, look at the schools of thought on shoes. Traditional padded shoes or minimal shoes? People will judge you no matter which choice you make.

Ultimately, it comes back to the lesson that I think we all struggle to learn..  do what is right for you, and stand firm in it. I enjoy running; I will run. I think running and strength training can live in harmony; I will push myself to lift heavy and run long. Minimal shoes work for me; I will run minimal. I like the occasional rice, a glass of wine, and darn it, I like cheese; I will eat these things. I will read the articles, listen to advice and opinions, consider the evidence, and come to my own conclusions about my own health. I will stand, or run, on my own two feet.

Me? I eat dairy, I drink wine, sometimes I eat rice or potato chips. I wear Nike shorts and minimal New Balance shoes. I truly hate pushups, and can't currently do a pull-up. I prefer organic. I eat clean. I lift heavy and I run long.

Now if I could just figure out all that other job, what to be when I grow up, what color to paint the room type stuff...

Recipe: Paleo Balsamic Chicken with Strawberry Kiwi Salsa...

This recipe must've been good. I didn't get a "blogable" pronouncement from the husband. Rather, he refused to stop chewing, but gave me the thumbs-up while nodding. Same thing?

Serve this dish with mashed sweet potatoes (throw in some cinnamon and butter) for a delightful summer dinner. As below, this serves 4

Paleo Balsamic Chicken with Strawberry Kiwi Salsa

Ingredients

4 chicken breasts
1/2 Cup balsamic vinegar
4 Tbsp grapeseed oil
1 lbs strawberries, diced
3-4 kiwi, peeled and diced
1 jalepeno, diced and seeded
Juice of 2 limes
4 green onions

Directions

Using a meat mallet, pound the chicken breasts to approximately 1/2 inch thick. Place in a dish. Mix together the balsamic vinegar and 2 Tbsp grapeseed oil. Pour over chicken breasts, and allow to marinate for at least 1 hour.

In a separate bowl, mix together strawberries, kiwi and jalepeno. Add lime juice. Allow to stand in the fridge while you cook the chicken.

Chop the green onions, and add to a pan along with the remaining 2 Tbsp of grapeseed oil. Cook on medium-high heat until onions are fragrant. Cook each chicken breast for 3-5 minutes per side.  (Careful, the oil will splatter quite a bit).  Allow chicken to drain on a cooling rack, or pat with a towel. Top with strawberry kiwi salsa, and enjoy!

On To The Next One...

I did it.

I ran a half marathon.

Go me.

Wait, what? I registered for another one? It's less than a month away??

If you've even thought about a half marathon, you've heard the joke, "I'm doing a half marathon, not a full, because I'm only half crazy." Well, I sat around and must've had a week-long runner's high, because I decided to register for the Ann Arbor Half Marathon on June 9. Yup, one month after the Mini. Two 13.1 mile runs in a month. I think I'm actually completely crazy.

I'm seriously debating the sanity of this decision. Ann Arbor is going to be both mentally and physically challenging. Mentally, there is just the magnitude of it. A second Half in a month. The field will be much smaller, so there will be less of a crowd mentality. And I have no running buddy this time. It will very much be a solitary grind of my own personal will to finish.

My husband also pointed out to me that it will be mentally difficult as Ann Arbor is a college town. There will probably be lots of young, college-age, athletic females running and passing me. Wait... is he calling me old? Am I old at the ripe age of 28??

Potential meltdown over nearing 30 aside, he's probably right. It is a small field, the full marathon is a Boston qualifier, and it will draw more serious athletes that the 35,000-strong Mini Marathon in Indianapolis. So I will have the mental challenge of watching people pass me, rather than having to zig and zag around other people every two steps.

Ok... mentally gearing up for fast chicks. Whatever, it sounds like the route is pretty... Ann Arbor... parks... hills...   Wait... my leg is still injured??

Yup, the weird knot in my calf that pulls on my shin that feels like a shin splint but doesn't seem to actually be one but hurts like one is still there.

I know, I know, runners are idiots. We're nothing if not stubborn. And I can't seem to comprehend that perhaps I should just sit and rest until my leg feels better. First, that's no fun. Second, it's laughable to think about rest when hanging around my husband. I'm pretty sure I could shoot him in the foot, and he'd drink water, change socks, 800mg ibuprofen  and then go CrossFit. Yes, I used CrossFit as a verb instead of a noun. No, I don't care if that's proper CrossFit grammar. Yes, I am wildly amused that my spellcheck accepts CrossFit as an appropriately-spelled word.

So here we are. May 17. A little nervous, a little burnt out, a little wounded, but registered and committed. In the back of my mind, I tell myself that I could walk part of Ann Arbor if I really need to. But that little voice in my head that so often tells me I can't is actually laughing at me. I'm not walking. I'm not backing out. I'm not quitting. I will grit my teeth, Ranger shuffle if I have to, and make it through.

Because at the ripe old age of 28, with pain in my leg and fit collegiate kids passing me, I can do this. Today, this month, this is the not the time when I can't. The line between here and can involves pain, will and challenge, but the bridge of stubbornness is strong.

Besides, completely crazy is much more fun than only half crazy!

Race Recap: 500 Festival Mini Marathon

16 weeks ago, I decided to run a half marathon. Saturday, I ran it. I'm happy to report that I accomplished my goal, which was to run without stopping. I finished in a time of 2:21:11, with a pace of 10:47. I placed 14,940 out of 30,096 finishers. Yup, I'm average. And totally OK with it. 

Here's my recap of raceday...

We started bright and early Friday morning, loading packed bags, puppy, puppy supplies, and ourselves into the Jeep for the 5-ish hour drive to Indianapolis. I'd made lists, I had checked them twice (more on that later...), and off we went. 

We stopped off to pick up my mom, who had decided less than a week earlier to fly in and cheer for me! After a stop for lunch, we dropped pup and mom at the hotel and headed off to the packet pickup and race expo.  Pickup was insanely smooth. And by smooth, I mean, no line, no wait, easy!  The expo? Sucked. I've never been to an expo where the only option was to buy stuff. Isn't the whole idea of an expo to wander around and collect kitsch freebies?

13 hours until race time!

We left packet pickup and headed out to dinner (where I consumed at least 3 glasses of water... hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!), and then back to the hotel for an early night's sleep. Or so I thought.

I went to lay out all my gear, and suddenly realized my shorts were nowhere to be found! Dumped the entire content of my suitcase, checked every item (which proved to be a good thing), no shorts. Off to Dick's Sporting Goods I went...

New shorts? Check.

Standing at the register and suddenly realizing I also forgot my sports bra?  Check.

New sports bra? Check.

So...  after that little debacle, I was finally ready. 

Gear ready to go. Shorts and shirt: Nike. Sports bra: Under Armour. Socks: New Balance. Shoes: New Balance Minimus Zero. Compression: CEP Calf Compression Sleeves. And added to my Bib: Isaiah 40:31 and <3 Boston.

Race morning, the alarm went off at 4:30. Let's be honest, I didn't sleep that well anyway. Strange bed, excited energy... I was ready! We stayed at a Residence Inn, which has a full kitchen, so I tried to make scrambled eggs with ham, which I've had fairly often before a long run. We burnt them, so I opted for a banana, some dried fruit, and a Stoneyfield Smoothie. And coffee. Always coffee.  I also drank about 24 oz. of water with a nuun hydration tab dropped in. They are pretty awesome. They come in good flavors, add electrolytes to your water, but don't add sugar. 

Now, normally, I have to pee 800 times before I run. Really. My body just keeps saying, "You have to pee." I tell it 799 times that I don't. It doesn't work.  Race morning, my body said, "You're anxious!!!!" Yes, I actually puked. Just a little. And laughed at myself. Clearly, I was just too full of anxious energy about how competitive I would be... ha. 

We loaded up puppy and puppy supplies (again), and headed downtown. I said bye to the family and headed off to meet my friend Eric, my long-distance training buddy (he lives in Indianapolis).   On the way, I ate two PowerBar Performance Blends. They are delicious, didn't upset my anxious tummy, and gave me energy to go. Highly recommend! The apple, strawberry, mango flavor is great.   I also had two PowerBar Gels in my back pocket. I like the ones with caffeine, but they are available without.

The corral experience was surprisingly easy. I've done a 5k with 10,000 people in it, and the corrals were jammed like sardines with people pressed against each other and shoving along.  The Mini-Marathon has 35,000 participants, and yet I had room to breathe, stretch, tie my shoes, etc.  AND, everyone else understood that we should walk, not run, to the start line!

Fun side story..  we both had to pee, but saw port-a-pots with no line before we'd crossed start, so we jumped out, peed, and jumped back in, no official time lost!

In the corral. I call this our "we're happy because we underestimate what we're in for" face. 

Off we went!!  The Mini Marathon is obviously jam-packed. We told ourselves to start slow for two reasons.. 1. we didn't want to waste our adrenaline and be burnt out at the end, and 2. you have to pass a TON of people.   Like any race, people seed themselves too high, don't pay attention, or see themselves because they thought they would train, don't, and start walking after two miles. Whatever the reason, you spend about 12 miles weaving through the crowd. 

The weather was fantastic! Couldn't have been better. 50s, very light wind, cloudy. The water stations are beautifully laid out. There are 11 water and 5 Gatorade stations on the course. I made a point to stop at each one, and felt perfect. They also have a Clif Energy Shot station, but since I had my PowerBar Gels, which I know work, I avoided that one. Why risk it?

The course heads out past the Indianapolis Zoo (mmmm.... poop smell..) and then off into the town of Speedway. The majority of the course is tree-lined or winds through neighborhoods, and people love to come out and cheer. There are actual groups of cheer squads, bands, volunteers, etc. plus people who just come out of their house to watch. These groups were awesome!! Some would read your name off your bib and yell just for you, "C'mon Stacey, you got this!!" It definitely keeps you moving. 

Right before mile 6, you enter the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. Down under the track, up into the infield, and out onto the famed oval you go. As we entered the track, a video screen was showing the live race coverage and I pointed out to Eric, "Hey look, those people are already done!" 

I worried this part would be boring, but they had several cheer squads, and as you approach the famed Yard of Bricks, the music is blaring, the infield screens are showing highlights, and you get a nice adrenaline burst to get you through.

Mile 7.5-ish. Feeling good on that famous oval.

Exiting the Speedway, you definitely feel good that you're done, you've completed 8 miles, you're in the homestretch. The feeling didn't last long..  it took that 9 Mile marker forever to show up. It took the 10 Mile marker forever and a day. I was pretty sure the 11 Mile marker was lost, and we were doomed to run forever.  I've seen a shirt many times that says, "There will come a day when I can't do this. Today is not that day."  I can't lie, "Today is not that day." became my mantra. It worked.   Well that, and telling Eric to "Just keep swimming" while making swim motions with my arms. 

12 Mile. Crossing that one, I knew I was good. I knew I would make it. Heck, I was hyped. For the first part of mile 13, you actually backtrack the early part of the course. People were *still* there to cheer! Then you round a corner and go up over a bridge. 

As I reached the crest of the bridge, I wasn't just relieved, I was amped. You look down, and you can't quite see the finish line, but you know it's there. The final half mile is lined with checkered flags, and people. Other finishers, families, people cheering and yelling. Music blaring. And you can see the Mile 13 marker. The one that says you've got one tenth of a mile to go. I descended into the last leg, feeling new life in my legs.  About two or three tenths of the way to go, we could see the finish arch and both started sprinted.  I was smiling while running! Weird, right?

Crossing the finish line was awesome! Just knowing I finished a half marathon, I made my goal of running without stopping, and I had a friend along for the ride was great. I'm already thinking about which half to do next!

After. We survived!

Apparently, taking a puppy to a half marathon is a fantastic way to ensure she sleeps for the next 12 hours. I heard she had quite the stimulating morning, sniffing people and things. So much so that when my family climbed into the bleachers to watch us cross the finish line, my husband had to actually carry her!

 You'd think SHE just ran 13.1 miles!

 Overall, it was a great experience. I loved my training plan, and most of my gear. Nike shorts are awesome, I'm obsessed with anything Nike Dri-Fit.

I HIGHLY recommend calf compression sleeves for both running and recovery. I had some serious knots in my calf toward the end of training due to my "pawing"form. Those in turn pulled on my shin, and my left leg was miserable the week leading up to the race. The calf sleeves made everything total bearable and are now a staple of my running gear. I used CEP and loved them.

For energy/nutrition, I definitely recommend PowerBar Performance Blends before and Gels during. They are gluten-free, woot! And give you the energy you need. I had a Gel at about Mile 4.5 and Mile 9, and it was perfect. The Green Apple flavor is pretty darn good too.

nom, nom, nom... PowerBar goodies to keep me moving!

My only disappointment was my shoes. I ran in New Balance Minimus Zeros. They are a minimal, zero drop shoe. The minimal part I love. The zero drop I love. The seam that they for some reason decided to place under my foot, right at the ball of my foot? I did not love. Over a shorter distance, it wasn't so bad. Once you crack 10 miles, it was miserable. Awful. Horrendous. I could barely walk to the car. And I could barely walk the rest of the day. I ended up walking on the outsides of my feet just to avoid the pain from that seam, which of course made the rest of my feet hurt! I wanted to love my Minimus. I did love them for about 13 of 16 weeks. But my first post-race goal will be to get new shoes and break them in so I can go find and run another Half.

Finishers medal. Who's joining me in 2014??

Recipe: Paleo (ish) Stuffed Chicken...

Some nights, you just have to cook. No recipe, no real plan, just some ingredients, a glass of wine (obviously), some music, and the kitchen. It just screams stress relief to me. 

Life has been an adventure lately. Or a misadventure.. isn't that the name of this blog? So it should come as no surprise... I've started a new job, and I'm finally doing what I want to do, which is a blessing. But, it's at a very small (President and several contractors) company, and I work from home. Definitely a bit of a struggle and an adjustment. 

My training is still on track though! I've had a bit of a set back... of course one week before the half marathon... a touch of shin splints, or something. The muscles along my shin are knotted like you wouldn't believe! So I've had to have a bit of extra rest, but I'm ready! Except I need to choose my outfit still. That's important, right?

The shoes and green top don't exactly match, but I'm leaning toward a clashing-ish outfit of the Blue shorts and green top...  although right now, they're calling for a high of 54, low of 44, and chance of rain, which may lead to a long sleeve top. Oh, decisions...

Anyway... on to the recipe...

I had a great time, can't lie. Popped open an amazing Rose, and turned on the latest Michael Buble album on Spotify... great cooking music and I'm now obsessed with the song "Close Your Eyes". I invented as I went, and I'm glad to say this was not actually pronounced "blog-able". Mostly because the husband didn't stop chewing long enough to say anything to me!  

This recipe uses Organic Valley's Organic Cream Cheese. Again, we eat dairy in our house, so we find this acceptable. If you don't want it, leave it out. Or replace it with a goat cheese. The creaminess was really awesome, but it's (as always) up to you!

This serves 3, and I've left the ingredient list as such.. most likely, you'll want to double it.

Stuffed Chicken

Ingredients

• 3 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• 2 oz. organic cream cheese
• 1/2 medium red onion
• 2 large leafs of kale
• 3 slices bacon
• 1 tbsp balsamic vinegar
• splash of olive or grapeseed oil

Directions

Preheat oven to 350.

Slice your red onion and separate the rings. Add to a saucepan and cook until they begin to brown. Drizzle with balsamic vinegar and continue cooking until soft. Remove onions and put bacon in pan. Cook until browned, but not crisped.

Remove and set aside to cool. Pour grease out of pan, add just enough oil to coat (if you prefer, you can use a new pan, but why make a mess? Just wipe it out and use the same, already hot pan!). Add your kale and cook until it just begins to wilt. Turn off heat, but leave kale in pan. It will continue to cook down while you prep the chicken.

While your kale is cooking and bacon cooking, prepare your chicken breasts. Using a sharp knife, cut a slit in each one, but do not cut all the way through. Fold the breast open, then use a meat hammer to pound each one to no more than 1/2 inch thick.  Line a baking sheet with parchment paper, and lay each chicken breast open on the sheet.

Spread one side of each chicken breast with cream cheese. Sprinkle with onions. Crumble bacon on top of the onion layer. Add kale as final layer.

Once the stuffing is in place, fold each chicken breast closed. Cook for approximately 35-40 minutes or until cooked through.  Eat. Do not speak to wife until finished. Only then may you proclaim this dish's awesomeness.

I Think I'll Go To Boston...

Boston.

I don't want to spew anger. I don't want to wax poetic. I don't want to talk and talk and talk and say nothing at all. But I am angry. I am introspective. I am hurt. I am lost.

I lived in Boston for several years. Specifically in Malden, a suburb on the Orange Line. My family lives about 20 minutes outside the city. My stepsister is currently a student at Northeastern University. My stepdad works downtown.

Like so many, I saw the tweets first.  I had taken a break from work to work for a few minutes on the water currently seeping into my basement (5 straight days of a rain and a previous owner who did everything on the cheap will do that). I came back to my laptop and saw them. "Prayers to Boston."  "Why why why why???"

My heart dropped. Pulse crashed through my fingertips. Throat went dry.

I walked. Ran. Floated. To our back room. To our TV. It was still on CBS and Scott Pelley was showing the images over and over. Boylston Street. I love that street. I stopped at that Starbucks the morning after my wedding. I've walked past Marathon Sports hundreds of times.

I grabbed my phone and started sending out rapid-fire texts. "Are you OK? Were you there?" I am lucky. Everyone I love was safe. My mom works 20 minutes away, no worries. My stepdad was on his way out of town anyway. My stepsister had been in that exact location maybe a half hour earlier, but was now in Cambridge. Safe, but stranded. She would walk the 4 miles back to her apartment because the T shut down or had limited service. But they were Ok. Others weren't so lucky, and they are in my nightly prayers.

Even with my family safe, I am touched. I am numb. I am lost.

Boston.

"But I love that dirty water... Oh, Boston, you're my home!"

Is it because I lived there? Weekends in Boston are great. I would take the T downtown and just wander. From Government Center to the North End. Up the Freedom Trail toward Boston Common, in to the Public Garden. Say "hey" to those Ducklings, forever skipping through the Garden. Up Newbury Street, over to Boylston. Feeling the sun, watching people, window shopping. I love that city. I would move back in a heartbeat.

Is it because they were running? Cheering for runners? You know I'm training for a half marathon. All I could think about was the joy and elation at the finish line. Runners, family, friends, complete strangers feel happiness at the finish. Joy to heartbreak in a split second. And again 30 seconds later.

Running to me is freeing. You strap on minimal equipment and out you go. You and the road. The fresh air. Each footstep reinforces your strength. Your will. Your determination.

These runners have dedicated thousands of miles to get here. Not just the miles they may have physically traveled, but the hundreds or thousands of miles their own feet carried them in their journey to Boston.

The crowd was there to share in this joy. To cheer on family, friends, even strangers. To watch the human spirit in front of and among them. The determination of the runners, 4 hours later. The carefree enjoyment of the crowd, out enjoying a city holiday. Patriot's Day. The Red Sox had finished hours ago. The elite runners had too. But Patriot's Day is a holiday. People roam the streets. Some going from bar to bar, some just hang out enjoying Boston's Spring kickoff. Kids are out of school. It's a party-like atmosphere, a day of fun.

A race isn't like a football game, a baseball game, anything in a stadium. It covers a long distance. It is open. The crowd comes and goes. The very thing that makes it enjoyable, that openness, the ability of the crowd to simply gather, to come and go as they please, that made it vulnerable.

All these things leave it such a mess in my mind.

Like so many others, I am comforted by the helpers. Comforted by all the people who ran toward danger, ran toward fear, reached out their hand and told someone, "You are OK. I am here, and I will help you." That is what makes America great. How we can come together. How good shines in the face of tragedy, again and again. How we support each other. How we are always determined. Sometimes the world seems overcome by hate, but there is always good chasing right after it. Standing up to it. And we must hold on to that good. We must never back down in the face of hate.

I went for a 5 mile run yesterday, and it truly felt different. I cherished it. I enjoyed simply looking around. I smiled when "Dirty Water" came on my iPod. I will run my half marathon on May 4 and I will cherish it. I will cherish the crowd. Our joy. Our determination. Our good. Our freedom.

I love that dirty water. Boston, I will run for you.

Recipe: Paleo Beef and Broccoli

Seems like a lot of CrossFit peeps are starting up Paleo challenges. I keep seeing it pop up in my Twitter feed, and it dawned on me that I have a fantastically easy, and delicious recipe to share! Why I've never shared this before, I don't know. It was almost Paleo right from the start...

I call it Pepper Steak because that's what my mom called it. But it tastes like Beef with Broccoli, or some other delicious Chinese food dish, just without the creepy stuff that sneaks into the sauces. You could serve this with some riced cauliflower, fruit, salad, whatever...  yum!

Beef and Broccoli

Ingredients

• 1 lb round steak
• 1/4 Cup oil (use coconut or olive)
• 1/2 Cup chopped onion
• 1 green pepper cut into bite sized slices
• 1-2 Cups chopped broccoli
• 1 Cup beef broth
• 1 tsp salt
• 1/4 tsp pepper
• Red Pepper flakes to taste
• 1 Tbsp wheat free soy sauce or coconut aminos
• 1-2 tsp arrowroot powder
• 1 clove garlic or equivalent garlic powder

Directions

Cut steak into thin slices approximately two inches long. Heat oil in skillet over medium heat. Once hot, add garlic, allow to cook a few minutes. Add meat and cook, turning as needed, until browned.

Add onion, green pepper, broccoli, salt, pepper, and red pepper flakes. I usually use about 2 tsp worth, but adjust this according to your desired level of spiciness, or leave out all together.  Cook over medium heat, stirring, until vegetables are just tender. 

Blend broth and soy or aminos. Stir in arrowroot. Pour over mixture in skillet. Bring just to a boil, then reduce heat, stirring constantly until sauce reached desired thickness.   (If you're like me and occasionally make your sauce too thick (arrowroot can be tricky), don't panic, just stir together a little more broth and sauce, and add it in).