Monday, November 28, 2011

I Know This Much To Be True...

I love to bake. I don't like eating sweets (though I love sneaking bites of dough), but I love baking them. I love trying new recipes, though I tend to get irrationally upset when the recipe doesn't turn out properly.  I will gladly sit hunched over a table for several hours, until my back hurts and I can't stand up, decorating Christmas cookies into little works of art.

I adore the Christmas season, but adore it because of the true meaning. Christ's birth, a Savior born unto us, God's love. Black Friday and other things sicken me because they clearly demonstrate a loss of the real meaning. Let's be realistic, how many of those people are shopping purely for gifts as opposed to scoring an awesome TV for themselves?

I find it very hard to get in the Christmas spirit when it isn't snowing, or even cold. It's currently about 56* here in the DC area, and our high the last two days has hit 70. It seems strange to see my tree and lights with the windows wide open.

I truly prefer to give gifts than to receive. I haven't made a Christmas list in years because it seems silly and rude to me to make a list of my demands. My mom scolded me for being too eager last year, when in reality, I was jumping to get my gifts that I'd bought for the family. Today I realized that I can't even afford my own fixed expenses, and have no idea how on this earth I will afford gifts for others. This realization sent me as close to a breakdown as I can get these days.

I think "It's a Wonderful Life" is the most dreadfully boring movie ever. And it's not even remotely uplifting. I mean, when the movie ends, he's still f*cked, he's just somehow happy about it because he got a temporary respite from his troubles.

I didn't mean for this post to be so focused on Christmas.

When President Obama announced the swift removal of troops from Iraq, I was incredibly jealous because the only person I know with someone in Iraq suddenly had a year long deployment turn into a 5 month one, and they won't even miss Christmas.

I get random urges to move all my furniture. Occasionally, I feel a pang of disappointment because the current setup in my apartment really can't be improved upon, so I know I can't move my furniture for the sake of moving it any time soon.

I blame myself for everything that goes wrong. Especially right now.

I have no idea what I want to do with my life anymore, but if there is a profession I'm considering and certain other people start that profession, I immediately lose all interest in it.

I don't like ice cream much, but if I'm going to have it, it better include sprinkles or mini gummy bears.

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