The Things Spouses Carry

Read a great, brief story recently. "Anxiety Trumps Logic" from NPR. Seriously, if you want to understand, even just a brief insight into, your recently returned servicemember, take a peek. http://www.npr.org/2011/06/02/136503834/returned-combat-veteran-anxiety-trumps-logic?sc=tw&cc=share

I've got a whole post saved up about the things I've noticed, even if the SGT keeps many inside. But I want to open for feedback from my few readers. We're trying to grow, but hey, I know there's not too many of you yet : )

The article mentions the well-known book "The Things They Carried".Though I've yet to read it (on my list), it makes me think, what do we carry? We who stay behind. Our lives are altered a year at a time, and I believe we carry things with us too. Not the same, not as severe, but things. I've noticed a few.

For example, after this tour, I've noticed that due to the constant concern that I would have missed one of his rare calls, I regularly hallucinate that my phone is blinking. That I've missed one of his calls. And I still feel very nervous if I don't know where my phone is. Seriously. It completely amazes me that I will find his phone everywhere and anywhere around the apartment, while I still feel a need to carry it from room to room with me. Thankfully this is fading.

I'm a forgetful girl. During deployment 1 I became convinced that if I forgot any piece of jewelry given to me by the SGT, something terrible would happen to him. I've retained this through deployment 2 and to today. Even the watch he's given me...  if it gets left behind, I'm nervous, unsettled, anxious all day.

And, given that I have never been a spouse and thus "the" call would've come from his parents instead of the Army, I would have small heart attacks every time they called to say hi. Even with him sitting in the same room, I'm grateful that they can call him now and reach both of us so I don't have to have the small panicked wait to see why they're calling me.

I know these are basic. They aren't like feeling lost or unsafe without a rifle, or being wary of crowds, or constantly scanning while driving. But they are just a few of the things we carry...     I'd like some feedback.

What are some of the things you carry?