Life in the military is full of "goodbyes"... or "see you soon"s. I know, pretty obvious statement, right? You don't really think about just how many "see you soon"s there are though. The one when he heads off to pre-mob training (between one and two months duration). Then he comes home for his pre-deployment 4-day pass. This of course means the big "see you soon". Eventually, he's home on leave/R&R, and then you get another "see you soon". Depending on the circumstances, you might get to welcome him home and say yet another see you soon so he can do his week of de-mob. And let's not talk about all the "see you soon"s that follow phone calls, Skype visits and e-mails.
Because of the nature of our relationship and his Reserve status, our "see you soon"s always happened in airports. We were long-distance for quite a while, so even our normal visits involved someone being taken to the airport, a see you soon, and someone getting on a plane to fly away. Even today, I feel anxious entering an airport with him. Our long-distance is finally, finally over, but I'm still convinced that if we go to the airport together, someone must be leaving...
The first tour, there was a ceremony before the month of training. I mostly remember a big, cavernous building, crappy high-school-gym-type lighting, and eating terrible food off Styrofoam plates. I suppose we could've taken the time to meet other families, but each family formed little circles around their soldier and waited. We spent his four day pass in Chicago, and the 'deployment moment' occurred when I flew home and he drove back to Fort McCoy, where they would leave for Afghanistan. So the big, ugly "see you soon" happened just outside security at O'Hare Airport. Nothing quite like going through security, face bright red with the effort of holding back tears, and wet from the few that managed to escape...
The second deployment, he was "cannibalized" as I call it. He was pulled to fill a hole in a different unit... taken the exact day his year of unavailability ended. (Don't get me started on that 'dwell time' crap.) There was a ceremony, that the soldiers who were not organic to the unit were not told about until the last minute, leaving us no way to attend. After training, we decided to spend the 4-day in Houston.. partially so I could take our cat home with me. He also had to fly so that he could rejoin his new unit. This time we got to say bye at my gate, and I at least had a very scared cat to keep me company. It's funny too the strangers that will ask if you're alright and offer words of encouragement vs. the ones who just stare like they've never seen a sad person before.
I cry every time, at least a little. He tells me to stay strong. Told me and the cat to take care of each other. Only once did he let me see a tear as he left. I always tried, doing my best to let as few tears as possible escape until we were apart. I believe I am strong, but even the strong cry. It takes a special woman to say "see you soon" so often. to hold the tears back until he leaves so he thinks you'll be OK. To watch him walk away. To return home, cry it out, shake it off, and start your temporary new normal. But we military spouses are pretty awesome. Somehow, most of us manage this each time. We prepare for every possibility, but believe that we will see you soon...
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