Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I am a Rock, I am an Island...

Wow. What a difference 24 hours makes. My fiance was supposed to be in training all summer, with a graduation date that would give us an early October date for our wedding. Luckily, we had not locked in the wedding date yet because of issues with him being in Afghanistan. He returned safely (thank you, Lord!) and started training. The date became clear! The parents rejoiced! We sensed an end to the panic and pressure from our families to book their flights!

And....   the evening of day 1, he busts up his Achilles. Day 2, he comes home to heal and await the next training class. You know when you were a kid, and you'd play in the swimming pool, diving for some dive toy, in the deep end, without goggles? You're fumbling around, holding your breath. The pressure in your lungs is mounting. And there! You feel the toy, your fingers brush it. You grasp it, feeling victorious, drop your feet and kick off the bottom ready to show off that you got it. You give a kick, and the pressure of the water pushing against the toy knocks it out of your hand. Eyes still closed, lungs bursting, you're forced to just let it fall and return to the surface empty-handed.  Yup. A bit like that.

Except, usually your parents are encouraging. They tell you to try again, you'll get it this time! Ours seem to be standing there yelling "You failure. Try again, get it now. You need to catch your breath? Well, HOW long will that take?? When will you know that you can dive again?" And we're just hanging on to the edge of the pool, kicking our feet, waiting to figure all of that out.

But look, here's what I know. He will be healed, the injury is not catastrophic (thank you, Lord!). We will have a wedding. If people don't like the new date and can't attend, that's their problem, not mine. I support my fiance 100%. I have through two deployments to Afghanistan, and I do now. I will marry the man I love, and my focus is on our life and our relationship. It's just one more misadventure, and despite the stress tension in the back of my neck, they really are what makes life fun...      just don't say "wedding" or "date" to me right now.

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