Monday, October 31, 2011

Trick Or Treat...

It's Halloween, so it's seems appropriate. Has the last 24 hours given me a trick or a treat?  So, as you know, I determined that our pending move doesn't allow me to seek the type of job I'd like. I'm just not enough of a jerk to go out, find a great, involved job, and then quit in 4 months.

I'd interviewed for a position that would have ben wonderful, challenging, and rewarding. But they independently mentioned that they would want someone who could be there at least a year, and even a term of 6 months would make them leery of hiring said person. A few days after the interview, I contacted them and told them the truth. The reward for my integrity?  I got the mass email saying "we found someone else".  Yeah, I had hoped I'd at least earn a personal response, but that's just not the way it goes.

So I contacted several staffing firms. I think it says something about this economy that one didn't even respond and one told me they had nothing. But, NRI Staffing answered. And helped. I say this because if you're in the DC area, hunting for a job, please don't let this experience turn you off. Please go work with them. I've worked with a few firms in this area, and they are by far the best.

They listened, they cared about what I wanted. Didn't balk when I stated what I wanted financially, etc. Great to work with. Except as it turns out, the position I got was terrible. The company has about 4 different systems to track their files (recipe for disaster!), and my job was to call people and ask for money. The other co-workers were nice. I can't fully explain it. But it was awful. I felt nauseous in the morning before I'd go in. As I was leaving, I felt dread about the next day.

But this isn't a rant. (Shocking, I know. I like my rants.)  This is about how we move forward. My husband came home for his weekend. And despite the stress he's under, he made a point of taking me out for a date. He rubbed my feet. And we talked seriously about things. And he gave me permission to quit. That he'd rather we keep struggling, but I be happy.    So I did.

I am blessed. I don't know what is going on, what is next, where it is we're moving (we find out in just over a week), what God's plan is for me, why exactly it is that - while the struggles are small - my life seems to be one struggle after another for the last long while. I don't know what lesson God is trying to teach me, but I think it might be about trusting him. About finding that optimism I used to have, because it was in him. About holding out my candle, as faint as I might think it is right now, not hanging my head and hogging its tiny glow.

So, I've got 4 goals for the next week or two. (We're going to go in small chunks).

1. Re-read Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning. Study it, focus on it.  If you haven't read it, you should.

2. Get back to running and working out. Stop making excuses. Clearly, I have all the time in the world again.

3. Search for positions that match me, but fulfill me. I know they exist. A quick search found a part-time (6 hrs/day) support position at a church. Not a ton of money, but more than unemployment.  There must be other positions like this out there. I'm going to keep looking for things like this until I find one.  You are paid in more than money by any job, and there is a way to work, and feel happy, even if it's still a struggle.

4. Be understanding of my husband's stresses, and not let our current situation get me down. It is NOT an easy one as a newlywed (Kim Kardashian can shove it, she has NO idea what real newlywed adversity is), but I am blessed to have someone who loves me, cares about me, supports me, and believes in me. I'm going to focus on that.

So, Trick or Treat, this quitting my temp gig after a week thing?  I'm inclined to think it was a treat. And I'm inclined to believe that I can turn it into a treat, no matter what it looks like.

No comments:

Post a Comment