Jacksonville Weekend...

I told you how I was contacted by Colts TE Jacob Tamme and offered a wonderful weekend in Jacksonville, FL, plus Colts tickets to thank me the hubs for his military service. So I bet you want to know how the weekend went, right?    First, I have to thank Jacob, and Tammy (@TammyLuvsColts on twitter) for the incredible gift. Second, it was AMAZING!

The only downside to the trip was the 5 a.m. wake up in order to get to the airport in time. But hey, I've done much worse! Our flights were smooth and actually landed early. Easy travels! We got to the hotel, in an adorable, new development area of Jacksonville. It was situated right on a lake, and done in adorable blues and greens. If you get a chance to stay at a Hotel Indigo, do it! We had a suite, which was wonderful when it was time to get ready for dinner!

We checked in, then headed out for lunch, and then drove to the Jacksonville Beach area. The water was chilly, but we walked in the waves and just enjoyed the fresh ocean air. And we saw 4 dolphins playing and hunting in the surf!

After the beach, we headed back to watch the first half of the IU-OSU game (go IU!) and get ready for dinner. We had a wonderful dinner at III Forks; you can never go wrong with steak, seafood and a bottle of wine!

I won't lie, we barely made it to midnight...  but we made it! Happy 2012!!!

We started the year off right! As we sat to have breakfast, I got a message from Jacob inviting us to meet him after the game! So we finished up and headed to EverBank Field. Jaguars fans were pretty friendly. People teased us a bit before the game, but it was all in good fun. We even ran into one security member who told us he was secretly cheering for the Colts!  The stadium has a great Bud Light Party Zone above the south end zone.  

We grabbed a sandwich for the hubs and then headed to our seats to watch warm ups. The only downside is we were on the wrong side of the field... the Jaguars were warming up closest to us!  But I still love being there.  I will say it's more fun at Lucas Oil Stadium, at least there they play "In The Air Tonight"!  

  

I was a little bummed that they use the tiny flags. Their mascot, Jackson-de-ville did fast rope in from a light tower above the field, which was cool.... and also a sign of things to come. One downside to Jacksonville? It's a bit like a circus side show! The mascot is doing so much random stuff, driving on the opposite end of the field with a tiny motorcycle, streaking, etc. that it distracts you from the game. At one point, he was bouncing around, and our whole row missed an entire down because he had distracted us!

We enjoyed the game, and got some serious sun. Sadly, as you know, the Colts lost. Forget that 'suck for Luck' stuff, I'm a true fan, I wanted the W as much as the players!

After the game, we headed down to the buses. I asked several security guards where we should go, until I was sure I was in the right area. I was still nervous, because we were outside the fence, and I just didn't know if it would work out.   I shouldn't have worried!  Jacob was about the fourth player out. He immediately pulled 4 people in (who I later learned were his family), then I saw him reach into his pocket to check his phone. I yelled out "Jacob!" He immediately looked up.. "Stacey?"  I grabbed the husband's hand, and security parted the fence and let us through.  Ok, mind blown.

Jacob Tamme is the nicest guy. Period. He immediately greeted us with a hug for me, handshake for the husband and asked us if everything went OK for our weekend. He introduced us to his aunt and uncle, cousin and cousin-in-law, and we hung out chatting.  

I do not want to take away from this moment at all, because we were Jacob's guests, and he is an awesome, awesome person. But of course, I realize I'm hanging out within a few feet of Robert Mathis, Dwight Freeney, etc..  and then who should walk right next to me?  Reggie Wayne!  I asked Jacob if it's rude to ask for autographs or pictures. He said no, but because it's the family area, the guys might not.  Then he called over and asked Reggie if he'd take a picture with us! I got a quick autograph, and told Reggie "You know you're my favorite." (In hindsight, I almost felt like a dork, but Reggie smiled and laughed).

At about the same time, Dallas Clark had come over, and Jacob asked him to jump in the picture.

Dallas is also incredibly nice. When Jacob explained that the husband had served two tours of Afghanistan, Dallas stopped to chat with us for a while and thank him for his service. Then he came straight over and hugged me and thanked me too! He chatted for a while, and left quite the impression. Great guy!

And then? Icing on the cake. Peyton Manning was around. I snagged a quick auto on my ticket, then Jacob got his attention. "Hey Peyton, would you take a picture with this guy? He's spent two years in Afghanistan." Peyton thanked him and posed with us!  And teased Jacob about his camera skills...

Overall, a dream weekend!   Of course the game experience was the icing on the cake, but just the chance to get away, have a nice dinner, enjoy a warmer climate was so amazing for us. We had a great time relaxing and reconnecting.

Despite my rants here, in our house, we believe we're just doing our job. We don't demand special attention, and half the time the husband won't even take a military discount. To get thank yous like this from Tammy and Jacob just blows us away. I truly can't thank them enough.  And to hear a thank you from guys often called heroes, directed to my hero, and even to me, is really, really cool.  So to Tammy and to Jacob Tamme and to Reggie, Dallas and Peyton, thank you.

Christmas and a New Year

Merry Christmas!  I hope everyone's was wonderful. We had what felt like the quickest Christmas ever, but I enjoyed (almost) every minute of it!

Thursday afternoon, the husband got out of training for the break and I brought him home to have "our" Christmas. We opened our gifts, had a great ham dinner, played with the cats, and went to bed early!  The next morning, we drove the 8.5 hours to Vermont to spend Christmas with my family. Yay, White Christmas!!

Christmas Eve we spent at the United Church of Christ in Rutland. Reverend John Weatherhogg was the officiant of our wedding, and we've wanted to attend one of his services for a while. His wife, Rev. Tracy Weatherhogg was actually leading the service, but we saw him very briefly, which was wonderful! We went to the family service, so they had a nativity with little children from the church.   Christmas morning, we got up and hit Pico Mountain (Killington's little sister) for some skiing!  We had previously bought discount tickets, which seemed like a great decision, until we discovered that Pico had only about two trails open, and the one at the top of the mountain was lined with snow guns. While I enjoy skiing blind (ok, no, I don't), we decided to forgo that trail. But! With no crowds, we got in quite a few runs anyway.  We headed home for a turkey dinner and opened presents in the evening. 

Sadly, we had to get up early yesterday and zoom back so the hubs could return to training. Insane traffic in New Jersey turned it into a 10.5 hour drive, but we made it and are back to the grind.

In good news, I have some awesome New Year's plan (that will be another post). The hubs is getting me a new laptop for Christmas, so the house and job hunts will be in full swing soon, and I registered for a half marathon outside Detroit to ensure I keep up with my training!  (so yes, you'll get 2012 updates about that!)

Now, to slog through the last few days until New Year's!

The Rollercoaster...

I've been MIA, I know. I've wrestled with what to write about, how much to let you in, what to do. But, I vowed from my first post to be brutally honest, so I guess I better stick with that.   (Sidebar, my computer is acting up... the display went out randomly, was gone for a week, and has come back in spurts, so hopefully I can get this out).

I've been struggling again lately. Anger. Loneliness. Resentment. Frustration. Despair.

One week after our wedding, my husband left for training. I figured it wouldn't be so hard. It's not deployment, right?  But I was sitting at home, alone, unemployed. Talking to the cats. (They don't talk back.)

People asked, "How's married life?" And with sarcasm, but with honesty, I'd reply, "I don't know."  I still don't. My life the last few months has been such a complicated, flooding, overwhelming, roller coaster of emotions.  I've been proud of my husband. I've been so despairingly desperate as I watched my funds dwindle and nearly disappear. I've been so alone, lucky to share my bed two nights a week, never more, sometimes less. I've carried on in a way all to familiar to me over the last few years, head of a household for 1.5. Cooking, cleaning, Ms. Fix-it, taking out the trash, tending to the car and repairs, doing the holiday decorating, trying to make a house a home welcome and warm enough that it still feels like his those rare times he's home.

I've stressed over money. I've cried when I realized I couldn't buy presents. I've come close to bottom several times, felt guilty, felt worthless, felt so very very alone.

And I've been blessed. I've been bestowed with miracles, with grace, with amazing things only God could bring about.

Through the generosity of strangers, one incredible @TammyLuvsColts and Colts TE Jacob Tamme, the SGT and I will get to go to Jacksonville for New Year's Eve. This, our seventh NYE together will be only the second we spend together. Colts vs. Jags will be his first NFL game ever. Through incredible generosity, with their thanks for him just doing his job. We are eternally grateful.

The day after I shared with you all how I couldn't afford Christmas gifts, my old boss contacted me. I am back part-time helping him with some administrative tasks as we continue the struggle to keep the organization afloat long enough to hopefully return. The bills are paid through our upcoming move. There are gifts under the tree, and gifts waiting to be taken to my family in Vermont. He brought me a miracle when I needed it most.

I'm scared about our move. Detroit? Detroit?! Crime, unemployment, etc. etc. The Chrysler commercials are great and all, but does anyone really want to move there?  I'm hunting and finding lots of good about the area, but it is absolutely scary to me. Out of the unemployment frying pan and into the fire!

I vented today. In our mere 11 hours together, I vented to my husband about how incredibly frustrated I was. About how, through no fault of his own, his deployments and subsequent training essentially train him to be self-absorbed, and expect me to revolve around him.  And how did he react?  He made laugh. He told me he understood, he was sorry because he couldn't imagine how hard it was on me.

So how is married life?  United. Growing. Getting stronger. A challenge. An adventure.

How is life in general? A challenge. An epic, exploding disaster. Scary. Wonderful. Awe-inspiring. Unbelievable.

How? Because people are good. Strangers can amaze you. And God is our glorious Father. And I will continue to trust him, no matter the struggle in front of me, no matter the struggle in my heart. I will trust that he loves me, that his plan is good.

And I'll keep sharing with you. Because I hope it helps. Because none of us are alone.

I Know This Much To Be True...

I love to bake. I don't like eating sweets (though I love sneaking bites of dough), but I love baking them. I love trying new recipes, though I tend to get irrationally upset when the recipe doesn't turn out properly.  I will gladly sit hunched over a table for several hours, until my back hurts and I can't stand up, decorating Christmas cookies into little works of art.

I adore the Christmas season, but adore it because of the true meaning. Christ's birth, a Savior born unto us, God's love. Black Friday and other things sicken me because they clearly demonstrate a loss of the real meaning. Let's be realistic, how many of those people are shopping purely for gifts as opposed to scoring an awesome TV for themselves?

I find it very hard to get in the Christmas spirit when it isn't snowing, or even cold. It's currently about 56* here in the DC area, and our high the last two days has hit 70. It seems strange to see my tree and lights with the windows wide open.

I truly prefer to give gifts than to receive. I haven't made a Christmas list in years because it seems silly and rude to me to make a list of my demands. My mom scolded me for being too eager last year, when in reality, I was jumping to get my gifts that I'd bought for the family. Today I realized that I can't even afford my own fixed expenses, and have no idea how on this earth I will afford gifts for others. This realization sent me as close to a breakdown as I can get these days.

I think "It's a Wonderful Life" is the most dreadfully boring movie ever. And it's not even remotely uplifting. I mean, when the movie ends, he's still f*cked, he's just somehow happy about it because he got a temporary respite from his troubles.

I didn't mean for this post to be so focused on Christmas.

When President Obama announced the swift removal of troops from Iraq, I was incredibly jealous because the only person I know with someone in Iraq suddenly had a year long deployment turn into a 5 month one, and they won't even miss Christmas.

I get random urges to move all my furniture. Occasionally, I feel a pang of disappointment because the current setup in my apartment really can't be improved upon, so I know I can't move my furniture for the sake of moving it any time soon.

I blame myself for everything that goes wrong. Especially right now.

I have no idea what I want to do with my life anymore, but if there is a profession I'm considering and certain other people start that profession, I immediately lose all interest in it.

I don't like ice cream much, but if I'm going to have it, it better include sprinkles or mini gummy bears.

DIY - Wedding Programs

I keep working in reverse on this wedding...  admittedly, I designed the invitations and Save the Date cards in inDesign. So, while I can show you pictures in a later post, I can't exactly tell you how to make them.    So today, wedding programs!

They're probably the first impression your guests get (after the invitation of course). So they need to be cute! But you still have a decent amount of information to convey. I can't quite take credit for this one... I found it online and made adjustments.  I do not remember where I found it, or who to give credit to, but just want to be clear that I'm not taking full credit.

Also, I lived at Paper Source during wedding prep. If you're not lucky enough to live near one, you can order online.

Here are our wedding programs!

Of course, we were supposed to get married in Killington, VT..  and the Killington Grand had chairs for their outdoor ceremonies that are not rounded. So the initial plan was for the invitations to actually hang on each individual chair.  But don't worry, they looked almost as cute tucked into a basket. 

The backing for each was a note card in the Half-Moon and Enclosure card (4 3/4" x 6 7/8"). Here is the Paper Source page http://www.paper-source.com/cgi-bin/paper/item/Half-Moon-Pocket-Folder-Enclosure-Flat-Cards/2505.040/3432040070.html  I used Chocolate for everything, but you can see they have tons of colors. 

Here are the tools you'll need. The tap runner below was from Target, but there is a Thermoweb brand available at Paper Source or Michael's that I felt worked better.  The hole punch is from Paper Source and is specific to the size brad available from PS. The brad setter (the little silver thing) is also from PS. 

I hate brads. I really do. Buy more than you think you'll need. I completely ruined at least 25 over the course of 110 programs.

Using the hole punch, punch a hole in the upper center of each Enclosure Card.  I punched one as a guide and used that to ensure each hole was in the same spot.

Place a brad into each hole, wider side down. Lay this on a hard surface that you don't mind denting. I had a cutting mat on top of a table.  At this point, you should have an Enclosure card, with a small hole in the top center and a brad in the hole with the smaller end facing you. (This is the end sticking up on most of the brads above).

Set the brad setter into the small hole on top of the brad. (You will see a small knob on the end of the brad setter that is clearly meant to fit into the brad). Hold the setter firmly in place and hit it with a hammer. (Trust me, use a hammer. If you don't have one, go buy one!). It will take a couple to get the hang of it, but you should end up with a cute little bracket around the hole.

Cut approximately 10"-12" lengths of 1/4"-wide ribbon. Put ribbon through the bracket and use a candle, match or lighter to melt the ends. (this will keep them from fraying).  Tie into bow or knot.  Ta-da! Enclosure card on ribbon!

Now, the program part....


First, I apologize, so far, I haven't been able to upload the actual template. I will keep trying.

But the Belly Bands are very easy...  In Word, create a new page. Set the margins as small as they will go, then create a table with 3 columns and 5 rows. Ensure that each row is 1.25" tall. The columns should be 2.25", 4.75" and 4".  Make sure to set the border between rows so that it will print (you need a guide for cutting) and the border between columns so it doesn't print.

In the largest box, print the names and date to your liking. We did our names in large, bold font, with "The Wedding Ceremony Of" above our names and the date below. Center this within the cell.

In the 4" box, we printed a message to our guests, welcoming them and thanking them for joining us.  I printed the belly bands on regular 8.5 x 11 paper from Paper Source in the color Sunshine.  You should have 5 bands per page, and I simply cut them with scissors.

Belly Band:

The actual invitation was also done in Word. Set your margins to 0. It is probably again easiest to insert a table. This one can be 2 columns and only 1 row. Use the ruler guide to ensure your sizes are right. The first column I started at .1, and ended at 3.5. The second column ended at 7.4.  (Sounds like it wouldn't work, but it did once everything was folded).

Create text boxes within each column.  I created a text box in each that was half the height of the page, then copied each one into the lower half of the column. Put in your information as needed. You can see ours below.

You will need to print this on cardstock, or you will be able to see through when you look at the program part. You will have two programs per page.

In order to trim this properly, you should only need to trim one inch off the right side of the page, then cut it in half to separate the two.     (Yes, my best friend was a guillotine trimmer).

Fold each program in half so it opens like a small book. Use the tape runner to put tape on the back of the right side of the program, then center it in the lower portion of the Enclosure Card.

Fold the Belly Band around the program so that your main part (names and date) is centered. Fold the other ends over so the note overlaps the other end of the band on the back side of the program. Use a tiny amount of tape from the runner to secure the two ends.


At the ceremony, these will hang on each chair, and your guests can simply slide the belly band off in order to read the program.

I know this post is long. The programs took probably two full days, but otherwise they were remarkably easy.  

Here are the templates for both parts. Please know that the spacing will likely not work immediately upon download. For example, when I download with my Mac, the Program spaces the columns incorrectly. I can quick fix by dragging the center line back to the left. I apologize for this, but hopefully you'll still find the templates helpful.

Download Program Template: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1EzSaaY847trpo1UqZqe9kS0XdDgJq_k_2pysSg1EOIM/edit

Once downloaded, you will want to play with the font and spacing until this matches what you want. With careful spacing, I was able to get two programs per 8.5x11. The template does not reflect this.

Download Belly Band Template:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QgMuN97NFZXIcks5BR0eVayDO6zQuBxAYKasYcD_l1I/edit

This Week's Lesson...

I believe God is always speaking to us. Constantly. It's just we aren't always listening. Or maybe it's just we can't always understand what He is saying.   I think one of my most common prayers is asking Him to help me understand, to open my heart so I can hear, to help me figure out His plan, what He's teaching me.

Sometimes I can't figure it out, no matter how hard I try. I'm left feeling lost, confused, alone. I never stop doubting that God has a plan for me, and that it is good, because He told me so. But I have no idea what that plan is, or where we're going on this seemingly roundabout way of getting there!!

Other times, it just smacks you in the face. For all the times I've begged, I think I've been spoken to directly only about 3 times. Other times, I just know in my heart that I've figured it out. Well, maybe not "it", but part of it.

So what are you telling me right now God? What are you teaching me? With all this uncertainty, a situation seemingly perfectly made to keep me from moving forward in my career while my former co-workers seem to be finding wonderful jobs where they are clearly moving forward? With this incredibly challenging start to my marriage? With our cancelled honeymoon and Facebook photos from everyone else's honeymoons?  Facebook, you evil, evil thing. Where all these new jobs, honeymoons booked where we were supposed to go, surprises and dates to start everyone else's marriages are jammed in our faces.

Any guess where I'm going?  Jealousy.

I'm convinced I'm being 'tortured' and tempted because I need to learn to be genuinely happy for other people. (I can't say about everything...  other people's stupidity will still get me ranting) But for too long I've taken genuine injustices, and rolled the anger toward everything else. I've allowed things to get under my skin and get angry about situations that I shouldn't. I've certainly dropped into the "why me?" mentality on certain occasions.

So this week's lesson (or this month's, this could take a while)...  which will also be a big step back toward the optimistic person I used to me...  is to be genuinely happy for others. Regardless of what I'm happy about. Some things are very easy to be happy about, and some are far more challenging. But I'm going to fight and strive against that jealousy monster.  So I'm happy for your job, your honeymoon, your date night. I truly hope you enjoy it. And I'm going to keep counting the blessings in my situation Because it's really not that bad. For any of us.

Paleo Sweet and Sour Chicken...

Ok, who else craves Chinese fairly regularly?? Who else went paleo, and doesn't miss bread at all, but misses those breaded dishes??   Me, me, me!  I've googled recipes galore for Sweet and Sour sauce, but couldn't find anything truly Paleo. Everyone wanted sugar or ketchup or something...    Now, bear in mind that I asked if soy sauce is Paleo (probably not, maybe only certain versions), but the quantity is very small and I think it could be left out.

I had a craving, so I decided to experiment. It turned out really well!  The husband will get to sample my experiment tomorrow, I'll try to get him to comment with his thoughts.   Here's what you'll need (feeds 2): 

1 can pineapple chunks (look for organic!)
3/4 Cup vinegar
1 chunk tomato   (I cut about 1/8 off the tomato that sits in my fridge and gets used slowly for salads)
1/8 tsp. ginger
1/4 tsp. soy sauce
2 Tbsp honey
Arrowroot powder as needed  (probably 1/8 Cup)

2 breasts Chicken   (you can substitute the appropriate amount of shrimp or beef)
1/2 large Green Bell Pepper
1/4 Onion

Add juice from pineapple can (should yield 3/4 Cup), vinegar, soy sauce and honey to pot or sauce pan. Simmer until warmed through, add ginger and tomato chunk. Bring to a boil and cook just until sauce begins to thicken. Reduce heat and remove tomato chunk. (I think you could also used tomato paste, but I'd use a very small amount, maybe 1 Tbsp.)   Add arrowroot powder as needed until sauce attains desired consistency.

Cut chicken into very small pieces. I did sliced, bite-size pieces. Cut pepper and onion into similar bite-size chunks. Cook chicken in 1 tsp. coconut oil until cooked through. Once chicken is cooked, add onions, pineapple and green pepper. Cook until green pepper just begin to soften (I prefer firmer veggies in my sweet and sour chicken).

Pour sauce over chicken mixture. Stir together and simmer for a few minutes.   Enjoy!


(as always, if you make this and have suggestions, please feel free to comment. I'm experimenting after all!)